to ride a horse along the beach into the sunset

to feel the earth the grass beneath me stars above me twinkling

to once again feel the grandeur of mountains all around

to love to live to breathe

each moment more than me

http://www.tressants.com/

ooo...

sigh, i'm not progressing.

i just want to curl up and go to sleep

Zeroing In
Denise Levertov

"I am a landscape," he said,
"a landscape and a person walking in that landscape.
There are daunting cliffs there,
and plains glad in their way
of brown monotony. But especially
there are sinkholes, places
of sudden terror, of small circumference
and malevolent depths."
"I know," she said. "When I set forth
to walk in myself, as it might be
on a fine afternoon, forgetting,
sooner or later I come to where sedge
and clumps of white flowers, rue perhaps,
mark the bogland, and I know
there are quagmires there that can pull you
down, and sink you in bubbling mud."
"We had an old dog," he told her, "when I was a boy,
a good dog, friendly. But there was an injured spot
on his head, if you happened
just to touch it he'd jump up yelping
and bite you. He bit a young child,
they had to take him to the vet's and destroy him."
"No one knows where it is," she said,
"and even by accident no one touches it:
It's inside my landscape, and only I, making my way
preoccupied through my life, crossing my hills,
sleeping on green moss of my own woods,
I myself without warning touch it,
and leap up at myself--"
"--or flinch back
just in time."

"Yes, we learn that
It's not terror, it's pain we're talking about:
those places in us, like your dog's bruised head,
that are bruised forever, that time
never assuages, never."


well, something like that. but about the ending, i beg to differ.
i think with God's help and time's balm it gets better... but it's pretty long-drawn
and oftentimes, sometimes, we just need some form of closure.

say you fell down and got yourself a really big long cut.

you would be really careful and avoid touching it or letting it touch anything till it's all healed and good right?

i keep tripping over myself again and again,
and i don't even know how i do it. sigh.

its painful watching people lose life inside-out

you know, i mean that inner sparkle in the eye,

that light quick un-meditated fresh smile

sure, hours aren't great, i'm tired after work but compared to so many others,

i'm having a breeze.

but it's not quite zephyr versus windstorm

it's just

okay la.

versus

submersion

*glug glug glug*

AHHhh.