now here am i saying dear, guys need their personal space. you have to let him do his stuff.

and there am i going where are you? am i your gf? etc. etc.

i feel quite a hypocrite, really. let me remember that the first love of my heart is and should be God and let me learn to love Him with a singleness of heart.

This instinct for love, so firmly implanted in the human heart,

is the supreme way by which we learn to desire and love God himself above all else.

- Hannah Hurnard

in the light of present frustrations,

i know that God is in control.

let me then seek Him.

We may have as much of God as we will. Christ puts the key of the treasure-chamber into our hand, and bids us take all that we want. If a man is admitted into the bullion vault of a bank, and told to help himself, and comes out with one cent, whose fault is it that he is poor? Whose fault is it that Christian people generally have such scanty portions of the free riches of God? --McLaren.

You never know how much you really believe anything until its truth or falsehood becomes a matter of life and death to you.

---

And then, of her, and of every created thing I praise, I should say ‘In some way, in its unique way, like Him who made it’.

Thus up from the garden to the Gardener, from the sword to the Smith. To the life-giving Life and the Beauty that makes beautiful.

---

Once very near the end I said, ‘ If you can – if it is allowed – come to me when I too am on my death bed.’ ‘Allowed!’ she said. ‘Heaven would have a job to hold me; and as for Hell, I’d break it into bits.’ She knew she was speaking a kind of mythological language, with even an element of comedy in it. There was a twinkle as well as a tear in her eye. But there was no myth and no joke about the will, deeper than any feeling, that flashed through her.

- A Grief Observed, C.S. Lewis

It is not hard for the Lord to turn night into day. He that sends the clouds can as easily clear the skies. Let us be of good cheer. It is better farther on. Let us sing Hallelujah by anticipation.
--C. H. Spurgeon.

The great Husbandman is not always threshing. Trial is only for a season. The showers soon pass. Weeping may tarry only for the few hours of the short summer night; it must be gone at daybreak. Our light affliction is but for a moment. Trial is for a purpose, "If needs be."

The very fact of trial proves that there is something in us very precious to our Lord; else He would not spend so much pains and time on us. Christ would not test us if He did not see the precious ore of faith mingled in the rocky matrix of our nature; and it is to bring this out into purity and beauty that He forces us through the fiery ordeal.

Be patient, O sufferer! The result will more than compensate for all our trials, when we see how they wrought out the far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory. To have one word of God's commendation; to be honored before the holy angels; to be glorified in Christ, so as to be better able to flash His glory on Himself--ah! that will more than repay for all. --Tried by Fire

As the weights of the clock, or the ballast in the vessel, are necessary for their right ordering, so is trouble in the soul-life. The sweetest scents are only obtained by tremendous pressure; the fairest flowers grow amid Alpine snow-solitudes; the fairest gems have suffered longest from the lapidary's wheel; the noblest statues have borne most blows of the chisel. All, however, are under law. Nothing happens that has not been appointed with consummate care and foresight.

--Daily Devotional Commentary

i have yet to figure out why they are always shooting fireworks on strange days around 9 odd p.m. for seeming undiscernable reasons.

for example, what's the occasion tonight - 8th day of CNY?

or is it their poor concession to the people working late in a bid to keep us sane between the public holidays?

do enlighten me.

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i remember very keenly what P said to me when i met him one morning in the bus on the way to work:

so. seeing as you do your work very well, if you did stay on you would definitely be a great lawyer. you previously said that you wanted to work full-time, would you still find working as a lawyer something that draws you very much?

no.

why?

because the things that i love, i love much more than these.

it did not require a response from me. i remember the height depth wonder and tenderness as in a dream. it is part of what my early post on the colour-spreading world was all about.

there was once a star born into the universe.

a bright dancing little thing, that sparkled and took joy in everything. it loved to watch the sky, when it was light with many others, the aged and wise, the cool suave mids and the yellow-wee things just like himself. it loved to watch the sky, when all had gone to bed, when it was just dark sky, emptiness and him. he loved to dance to the music of the ethereal sylphs, ariel and belinda, when spirit and opportunity came dashing by. he loved to sit in stillness, when silence reigned supreme, and calm was all without, peace found home within.

then one day he found a billet-doux.

it was a fascinating thing this billet-doux - all promises, thimbles, silver bells and cockle-shells, he wondered what he would do. he opened the billet-doux and made friends with it. it fired a flash of lights and let loose a pyrotechnics display. it was an amazing thing, this billet-doux.

he played with it, every night and dreamt of it every day. play dream dream play soon he forgot the quiet wonder and innocent contentment he used to enjoy each passing moment of every twilight. he forgot that he was a star. he forgot he was bright. he forgot how to dance and ski, along the milky way and kuiper belt.

his starlight began to dim. meantime the billet-doux became just what it was: a scrap. a fold. a fly-by-fly-away thing.

sometimes, i wonder where that little star went. he was a bright cheery thing. he taught me to laugh and cry. he taught me to sing. but i no longer can see that little star, that gem, that life lighted within.

zoolander is so incredibly stupid it's hilarious. caricatures on mankind and our obssessive follies - it's one look.

somehow, strangely enough, it reminds me of these few verses:

For the Jews require a sign, and the Greeks seek after wisdom: But we preach Christ crucified, unto the Jews a stumblingblock, and unto the Greeks foolishness; But unto them which are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God, and the wisdom of God.

Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men.

- 1 Corinthians 1:22-25

spoofs on humanity and we muddle along clueless when there's another dimension out there in the reach of our fingertips. in the ten years it takes that spacecraft to reach pluto, let us hope to take more than a baby step on the real narnia, where dry bones come to life to form a living army.