to wander amongst the daily whites and blacks of the corporate document stream (or buried beneath arguments, subjective objectives, hypotheses, fancies, declarations) and to know that there's not much satisfaction in drafting a document or picking out mistakes in someone else's documents continously, persistently, pedantic to the last degree. then to think that the mental tiredness/weariness we subject ourselves to earn us well-deserved breaks in far-off locations in sensory pursuits, in dreams of experiencing the beauty and majesty (the simplicity and colour) of the world outside the empty black box we live and work in.

would wanting to do something new, experience something different and dangerous (?) be considered a selfish pursuit of pleasure? and then to be reminded that life is not about what i want to do, i have duties, responsibilities, obligations, that are outstanding, due, persistent, there, no getting away from, that's life, why don't you understand?

i honestly don't know what we do as corporate lawyers. we help people to close business deals, structure syndicated means of getting money from others, help companies do the dance of co-joinment and separation, birth, death and renewal. you do well if you don't mind picking out mistakes till your eyes pop, being painfully particular, being a good administrator and efficient. how is it that we hold the key to truth but keep it from others?

...what's this life that we're leading... how does one live it for God?